What if i am someone else

Dear dairy,

I really wonder does anyone out there really hates me?
Because i really hate myself - carol hsieh xing zhi -
If i am another person and came by knowing you - carol -
I don't think i did like you, in fact i think hate you
you always bitch about your friends
you can be friend with someone for a second and nxt you are bitchy about her
you are two face
you think so greatly of yourselves
in total i think you sucks big

oh my oh my,
I really hate myself too
sometime I wonder,
If i don't like **** i should be more real
don't act friendly towards her and gossip about her with others
CAROL HSIEH!!! get out from the virtual world
you have to face it or maybe learn to face it

gosh why are there so many things i hate about myself
yesterday i grumble about my body
today about my character
what am i gg to be unhappy about tomorrow?

today played tennis with sandy , ervin and leon
ya i had dropped my diet plan so i am aiming for abs
cos is really way too impossible to get slim and flat stomach
so i did push ups and played tennis
begining while rallying i felt my knees damn painful
but i bare with it as i thot is just for awhile
cos these had been long since secondary school
but today it just lasted all the way from 5 plus till 8 plus
is not that painful till i won be able to walk just that i will lean more weight on my right knee
as the left side really cannot take in much weight
then my stupid left side of my back hurts real lot after afew serve
all these injuries are back again
I really hate myself, i really want to put in effort to improve tennis
and also to get a much fitter body
then all these stupid old injuries are back
sometimes i really tell myself should i choose to quit ?
what for making myself injured even more for playing tennis
but i dunno why i just didnt, i just determine to stay on
but seriously these are getting worse
its been real long but i still can take the painso i will not complain till it really gets bad
ah but i really just hate myself
STUPID BODY is weak fat and useless